do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
