i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
