but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Bring me that man meat
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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