i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
