he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
