you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
