I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
