so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
