i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Can I color on your dick again?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
