Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
