come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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