I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
