WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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