you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
they're like a gay fantastic four
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
this hospital has no fireball
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
