I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
