white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
