he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
