he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
