we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
