It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
