Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize