I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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