Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
