you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
