do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize