Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
