Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize