i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's blow job season.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
