he wants to bone in the snuggie
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
