If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
