Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

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(419): View more from Ohio

your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy

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(862): View more from New Jersey

:( I miss blowjobs.

(973): View more from New Jersey

This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.

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(253): View more from Washington

is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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(360): View more from Washington

Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

You win. Erica always eats cat food.

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(409): View more from Texas

There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.

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(716): View more from New York

the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.

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