shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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