normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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