I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
