Michael Bay diarrhea
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
