we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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