wat bout pragnant strippers??
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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