My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
