Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The air taste purple.
Randomize
