sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
