They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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