Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
