He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize