her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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