STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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