Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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