piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
