C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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