she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
