one two three fourrrrnication!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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