I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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