I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
