the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
