Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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