Who did Billy Mays play for?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found the other keg... it's in the tree
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize