their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
