Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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