I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
They took my balls.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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