what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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