I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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