My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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