You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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