Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
